Sunday, January 20, 2013

Shit Happens...A Lot & Everywhere!

So just when I thought my week sucked and felt like NO parent on the face of the Earth (bit dramatic?) has ever been through what I have. {Jimmy's away at work, Kenzie learned to crawl and is in everything, Jackson's being his normal monster self, and F**kin' Mother Nature hits and I swear my uterus might explode}.. Marissa, despite her miserable experiences, made my day with her post of literally the SAME things that were happening to me. Finally, I'm not the only one being shit on this week!

Thursday Morning Accident #1
Ok..11:40 but hey there's still 20 minutes left of the "morning". My kids finally decide we need to role outta bed..yes, they both slept with me again. We do the normal routine:
  • Get the kids to the living room and turn on cartoons
  • Get the puppy outta the kennel to go potty
  • Head to the kitchen to get the kids & Coco food.
Before I can even get food going all I hear are screams of disgust from my 2 year old . "Ewww, its all ober sister, Moooommmm POOPY!!!" Kenzie, who thinks having poop is hilarious, is laughing and squealing as she SCOOTS on her booty (like a dog) across the carpet.
I seriously don't wanna go in there but I'm the mom and its kinda my job. Its pouring outta the diaper and onsie, a trail of yuck smeared in the carpet, down her leg, in one sock and on those sweet hands headed for the couch.
I scoop her up and do the weird hold ( arms length away stinky baby dangling know) and gag the whole way to the tub while she thinks its the best thing ever.
It'd be amazing if that was it for the week but it wasn't...
Friday Afternoon Accident #2
Sitting on the couch checking FB...yep, mom of the year moment. The kids were playing right in front of me on the floor so I was paying enough attention that I knew they weren't burning the house down...yet.
About 5 minutes later a horrible smell fills the room. I get up smelling things like a crazy lady. Kenzie, the dog, looking under the table, in the kitchen, bathroom..I cant find the source anywhere! But little do I realize my Potty Training 2 year old is underwear-less.
"Jax were did your undies go?"
"I go potty"
"Did you poop?"
Ok, I didn't check is potty chair...nothing in it. EMPTY.
"No Mom in here"
Yep, there it is a little Log chillen on my living room floor.
Oh, yea, still not done...
Sunday Afternoon Accident #3
While attempting to make chicken strips & mashed potatoes (no diet there)
My son decides hes just gonna save himself a trip to the bathroom and do it in his undies.
No hiding it. He fessed up as soon as he was finished. Showed me where he stood to do it. No shame in his game.
Get him to the bathroom and put him on the potty. I run bath water, grab Kenzie who's decided to join in on the fun, and run to check dinner. I'm still thinking hes on the potty. NO. Hes took it upon himself to get off and go hide under my blanket on the couch.
With shit all over his hiney and now foot, couch and my clean blanket. Yay! Just what I wanted to do all night...Laundry & Cleaning Carpet :)


So Ive come to these conclusions: Not only do my kids Hate me this week! But Shit Happens Everywhere but the potty in this house.


  1. Hahahaha, OMG!!! I'm totally about to link to this post in my blog!!

    'Shit happens everywhere but the potty in this house.' lol, LOVE it!

  2. Hello! I am new to this whole blogging thing but..when I read this, I had to start following you! I too am an oilfield wife and a mother of a 3 year old. We have 2 dogs. My husband is home every other weekend so I can totally relate to those days where nothing seems to be going the right way! Thanks for sharing this! It is good to see that their are other women who simply want to pull their hair out some days!